In Which There is a Short Christmas Interlude
by Wardove706
Summary: Never let Saturn near the munchies. Chaos ensues. Just another christmas party for the Stellon brothers. Side-Story to In Which There Is An Adventure Through Hoenn. You don't need to read that to enjoy this, but it's highly suggested.


**AN: Just a ridiculous little thing I came up with for Christmas. It doesn't fit in anywhere in my Adventure story really. Consider it Non-canon! I guess it's rather crack-ish, since I wrote it after drinking my favourite extra-large hot coffee with extra-extra cream and extra-extra-_extra_ sugar. There I was sipping my coffee and all of a sudden, Saturn's knocking on the Muse department door, saying he wanted to throw a Christmas party, and Darius was standing behind him saying it really sounded like a bad idea, and everyone just kept walking through that door and putting in their own two cents! Thus! I'm not responsible for this story! The characters wrote themselves! I swear!**

**Rated T because my Saturn is an incurable prankster with ADD! Implied alcohol (or something), maybe romance if you squint really hard?**

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Darius sighed, trying desperately to block out his surroundings by tucking his face deeper into the pages of his book. He'd have fled his current location ages ago, but Saturn seemed to have some kind of radar that alerted him if the younger Stellon neared any kind of exit, be it a door or even a window. Darius had pondered for a while whether or not Saturn had placed some kind of tracker on his person, but a surreptitious search returned nothing of the sort. Had Darius not been so absorbed by his own thoughts, he might have been able to avoid what happened next. There was a mad giggle before May suddenly crashed into the sofa Darius had retreated to, the girl falling into his lap as she lost her balance.

"What are you doing?" The boy yelped, dropping his book and grabbing May's shoulders, moving her to the seat beside him. The girl giggled again and got to her feet, swaying for a few seconds before taking off back to the center of the room, catching the hands of a startled Barry and dancing off to the tune of Let it Snow, the pair nearly running over several other groups in their tipsy path. Raising his eyebrows, Darius retrieved his book from where it had fallen to the floor and laid it on the arm of the sofa and began looking around his surroundings for the first time in several hours. A large number of people seemed to be throwing themselves in every direction as the fast-paced music carolled on. What really caught the boy's attention however was how uncoordinated most of them were being. A sense of déjà vu began to overtake the boy, and he carefully rose to his feet, eyes roaming around the large dance hall. By carefully shuffling along the wall and avoiding the main body of the crowd, Darius was able to avoid any more collisions. When he arrived at the buffet table, he quickly grabbed a plastic red cup and dunked it in the punch, sniffing the drink suspiciously.

"Lighten up little bro!" Saturn called loudly from behind the wary boy. Darius turned his head to look over his shoulder and _glared_ at the older Stellon, whose cheeks seemed to be slightly redder than usual.

"What did you do?" He growled, turning to face the man. Saturn just beamed.

"There's nothing in there bro. I promised not to spike the punch this time, remember?" Darius did not let up on his glare.

"You spiked _something_." He replied. "May just literally _fell_ into my lap, giggling like it was the funniest thing in the world."

"Perhaps she was trying to get your attention little brother." Saturn smirked. "She's a _very_ pretty girl afterall, and you two spent quite a while _together_. _Alone_." Darius just glared and punched the man in the shoulder. Hard.

"If Looker finds out you spiked the holiday cheer, you're going to be cuffed again." He retorted. Saturn just grinned wider at that, rubbing his now sore arm before waving to someone over Darius's shoulder. When the boy turned, he saw the officer in question flushed brightly red, swinging Dawn around the dance floor, the girl giggling just as madly as May had been. Darius turned back to Saturn, his glare shifting to a stare of incredulity.

"You drugged a federal officer!" Darius yelped. Saturn just grinned and waggled a finger at possibly the _only_ sober person in the room.

"Ah-ah little brother, he drugged himself!" With that Saturn gave a deranged laugh and careened past Darius, catching Cynthia, who had been dancing with Looker's assistant, and the pair spun off, laughing madly. Darius could only stare after the pair with his mouth hanging open.

"Dear Arceus Saturn, what have you done?" He murmured, shaking his head in disbelief. The boy began slinking along the buffet table, searching for the object Saturn had spiked. He'd gotten about halfway through the table before he came upon Professor Birch. The man seemed to be the most tipsy person in the entire room, leaning heavily on the table and hiccupping intermittently, a dazed smile spread across his face as he stared into the wall.

"Professor, what have you eaten today?" Darius asked, frowning slightly. Whatever Saturn had spiked, it looked like the Professor had probably eaten a large amount. It took a few seconds for May's neighbour to focus on the boy before him, and when he did notice Darius, he grinned widely.

"Nuffing'." He slurred, giggling slightly. Darius's eyebrows shot up and he started at the man incredulously.

"Ooo shouu' 'ave sm' _egg-nog_." The professor slurred on, his eyes already drifting over Darius's shoulder. "Ish' _good_. Ah' lak' egg-nog." Darius wanted to smack himself in the head. Of _course_ it was the egg-nog. Darius frowned at the Professor again, waving his hand in front of the man's face to catch his wandering attention again.

"How much egg-nog have you had tonight Professor?" He asked. Birch frowned, staring up at the ceiling before bringing up his hands and tapping off his fingers, frowning in concentration.

"Urr, mayee'..." He tapped off a few more fingers before pausing, frowning at the digits. He pulled some back down, and then raised them again. Finally, he shook his head, dropping his hands to his sides once more. "Losa' nog." He slurred simply with a shrug. "Ish good. Ooo' shouu' 'ave some." He grinned, but Darius shook his head, quickly stepping around the professor and bee-lining for the egg-nog. A cup dipped into the innocent-looking white liquid and a sniff told Darius all he needed to know.

"What in the world have I missed?!" An indignant voice yelped from behind Darius. The boy turned to see Brendan shrugging off a jacket, obviously having just entered the building. His eyes were wide as he took in the assortment of intoxicated dancers.

"Saturn spiked the egg-nog, and somehow no-one noticed until they were all too tipsy to care." Darius replied flatly. "You just got here?" Brendan shrugged, coming to stand beside Darius, still looking over the spinning mass of people. Darius grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back quickly as Looker and Saturn spun by, both laughing hysterically as they nearly bowled the boys over.

"You really don't sound surprised." Brendan commented, glancing over at Darius. The boy only sighed.

"He's done this at every Christmas party we've ever had. Or been invited to." He sighed. "And then he wonders why so few people ever invite us back."

"For the record Mr. Stellon, I really don't approve of this." Steven said as he came up behind the boys. Darius opened his mouth to reply that he didn't approve either when Cynthia seemed to come out of no-where catching Steven by surprise and dragging him, protesting, to the dance floor, laughing uproariously and informing the man that he was going to lighten up and have a good time. Darius and Brendan both stood with their mouths hanging open as they watched Cynthia throwing Steven around the floor like a ragdoll.

"I can't decide if this is hilarious, or terrifying." Brendan muttered.

"Most of these guys won't remember half of this tomorrow, so let us _never_ speak of it again." Darius replied. Brendan shrugged.

"Maybe a couple inside jokes can be taken out of this." He said with a laugh. "Is that _MAY_?!" He yelped abruptly as his eyes landed on his neighbour-cum-crush. Darius sighed, pressing his hand to his forehead.

"Just don't touch the egg-nog." He warned. "Or anything my brother may try to give you." He added quickly. Brendan grinned and quickly flew onto the floor, catching May's hands and spinning around like any other drunk in the room. Darius sighed in defeat and made his way back to his sofa refuge, reclaiming his book and hiding once more in his bastion of sanity. He really wasn't looking forward to everyone's dark hangovers the next day.

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**So yeah! This is what happens when I have a computer, copious amounts of coffee, and a radio that won't play anything but christmas music. And I know I'm posting this in March, and not anywhere near the holiday season, but it was written on Halloween two years ago (don't ask, blame Pandora radio for having Christmas music stations in the first place), and I thought now seemed as decent a time as any to post it. **


End file.
